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ndcisive
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Name: Timothy
Country: United States
State: Georgia
Metro: Atlanta
Birthday: 3/14/1985
Gender: Male
Interests: computers, girls, music, tv, media production, mingling, mountain biking, movies, Sonic the Hedgehog (1991-1996), women, ...
Expertise: computers, cunnilingus, Michael Jackson, nostalgia, ranting, useless facts, ...
Occupation: Unemployed/Between Jobs
Industry: Media
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  craztim
AIM:  TimOS103
Member Since:
5/8/2004
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| I copied this from Tiarea's Xanga:
1. Copy and post in your diary.
2. BOLD anything that is true.
3. Leave plain anything that is not true.
4. Add something.
001. I miss somebody right now.
002. I watch more TV than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love sleeping.
005. I own a home.
006. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
007. I love to play video games.
008. I've done something illegal.
009. I've watched action movies.
010. I have been in a five-star hotel.
011. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have acne-free skin.
014. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
015. I curse frequently.
016. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I've been to another country.
019. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
020. I'm really, really smart.
021. I've never broken anyone else's bones.
022. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
023. I love rain.
024. I'm paranoid at times.
025. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
026. I need money right now.
027. I love sushi.
028. I talk really, really fast sometimes.
029. I have fresh breath in the morning.
030. I have semi-long hair.
031. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
032. I have at least one brother and/or sister.
033. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
034. I shave my legs.
035. I have a twin.
037. I couldn't survive without Caller ID.
038. I like the way that I look.
039. I have lied to a good friend in the past 6 months.
040. I know how to do cornrows.
041. I am usually pessimistic.
042. I have mood swings.
043. I think marajuana should be legalized.
044. I think Britney Spears is pretty.
045. I have cheated on a significant other.
046. I have a hidden talent.
047. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
048. I've been to a foreign country.
049. I am currently single.
050. I have kissed someone.
051. I enjoy talking on the phone.
052. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
053. I love to shop.
054. I would rather shop than eat.
055. I would classify myself as "ghetto".
056. I'm bourgeoise and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
057. I'm obsessed with my Xanga!
058. I don't hate anyone.
059. I'm a pretty good dancer.
060. I don't think OJ killed his wife.
061. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
062. I have a cell phone.
063. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
065. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
067. I have never been in a real relationship before.
068. I've rejected someone before.
069. I currently have a crush on someone.
070. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
071. I want to have children in the future.
072. I have changed a diaper before.
073. I've had the cops called on me before.
074. I bite my nails.
075. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
076. I'm not allergic to anything deadly.
077. I have a lot to learn.
078. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
079. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
080. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
081. I'm online just about 24/7, even as an away message.
082. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
083. I have been rejected by someone.
084. I have a green sweater.
085. I own the "South Park" movie.
086. I have avoided work to play on OD.
087. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
088. I enjoy country music.
089. I love my best friends.
090. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
091. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
092. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
093. I have to advance my career in every position I take in the professional world.
094. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
095. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
096. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
097. I watch "Spongebob Squarepants" and I like it.
098. I have dated a close friend's ex.
099. I'm happy as of this moment.
100. I have gone scuba diving.
101. I've had a crush on somebody you have never met.
102. I've kissed someone I knew I shouldn't.
103. I play a musical instrument.
104. I strongly dislike math.
105. I'm procrastinating on something right now.
106. I own and use a library card.
107. I fall in "lust" more than in "love."
108. Cheese enchiladas rock my socks.
109. I think The Lord of the Rings is one of the greatest movies ever.
110. I'm obsessed with the TV show "The O.C."
111. I am resentful that I have to grow up.
112. I am an entirely different person around different people.
113. I think the world would be a better place if people just smiled more often.
114. I think ramen noodles is one of the best foods in the whole world.
115. I am suffering mending of a broken heart.
116. I am a nerd.
117. Sometimes, no matter where I am or who I'm with, I seem to be lonely.
118. I am left-handed and proud of it.
119. I try not to change who I am for someone.
120. My heart resides below my feet.
121. I have seen a live birthing.
122. I enjoy smoothies.
123. I have had major surgery.
124. I have adopted a pet from the SPCA.
125. I am listening to Radiohead right now.
126. Some people call me by a nickname.
127. I once stole a music stand.
128. I like pumpkin pie.
129. I love NASCAR!
130. I own over 200 CDs.
131. I work 7 days a week.
132. I have mono.
132. I don't have the ability to make decisions without changing my mind.
133. People tell me I have a horrible sense of humor.
134. I'm still in my PJs.
135. I'm looking for love in all the wrong places.
136. I have a tendency to fall for the wrong guys, or have them fall for me.
137. I'll try anything three times.
138. I'm tired right now.
139. I sometimes have trouble sleeping.
140. I am a cuddler.
141. I love John Waters films.
142. I have made a home videotape.
143. Sloth is my favorite deadly sin.
144. One of my feet is bigger than the other.
145. I know all the words to the "Firefly" theme song.
146. I am abnormally obsessed with all things Buffy/Angel.
147. I love comfort food.
148. This question made me mad.
149. I'm Catholic.
150. I can walk a mile without feeling like I'm going to die.
151. I am a college student.
152. I love to cook.
153. I hate vacuuming with a passion.
154. I'm addicted to photography and picture frames.
155. My brother is one of my best friends.
156. I want to lose weight/tone my body.
157. My daughter means more to me than anyone.
158. I listen to foreign music.
159. I'm a hopeless romantic.
160. I've changed so much since high school that I'm almost unrecognizable.
161. I want to run a foster home in the future.
162. I enjoy listening to news talk on the AM radio.
163. I get random urges to dye my hair, and I follow them.
164. I have a tattoo.
165. I can touch my tongue to my nose.
166. I am in love with the Counting Crows.
167. I would be lost without my planner.
168. I sleep with five or more pillows.
169. I own an iPod.
170. I drink coffee everyday.
171. I hate being in arguments.
172. I am high maintenance and I like it that way.
173. I dream of being our nation's president someday.
174. I have brown eyes.
175. I love Subway!
176. I think Tupac Shakur was the best rap artist to have ever lived.
177. I have lied to my parents in the past week.
178. I listen to public radio (NPR, PRI, BBC). | | |
| Finally, A New Entry…
First, I want to thank all the readers (except Blakker
Berry, spawn of Dark & Ness) for their positive words after the last entry. Second, 50 Cent
is a fucking asshole who deserves to be shot 9 times in his dumb
fucking face.
What's good since my last entry? Chris
(an old head from CLDC) gave me this old, big ass, 21-inch HP monitor.
I cut
all my hair off again. Theron helped me clean my room. It's a miracle.
Pics of my monitor, my room, and my head coming later, like when I get
another camera.
New Addictions for March: mine is the HBCU Connect message board, Bill's is Final Fantasy XII, Brandon's is World of Warcraft, and Theron's is probably chocolate and some new TV show (House M.D., Race-O-Rama, Naruto, etc). Whatever show Theron is addicted to will pull me in as well. 
Otherwise, life still sucks. I'm still almost
flunking. My 7,287-day drought needs to end. It would probably help if
I tried digging my well with a shovel at least, instead of my bare
hands. Nights like this… I wish… pussy would fa-a-all…I should stop wishing and learn a rain dance. My 20th
birthday is in 13 days, and so is Spring Break. Unfortunately, I go
back home in 11 days. That means instead of doing "Spring
Break" things, I'm gonna be at home with my family.
What's the problem? I'm almost flunking and they all know it, remember? If you're gonna be in
Atlanta, please rescue me! More ranting later…
  
the Nifty New Nickel, Nigga… | | |
| I was real depressed this morning. Real. Depressed. EveryThingIThoughtOrWroteMadeMeTearUp
Depressed. And for good
reason. I don't always say this, but I'm pretty fucking screwed… in
life, in general. I wanted to write to a teacher for help, but
instead I made a whiny, ranting mess. This isn't the first time I've done this kind of thing,
and it won't be the last. I don't know if I should post it, seeing as
how you readers all look up to me as a sexy, sane specimen of human being. Fuck it, follow the white rabbit.
Date: Wed, 9 Feb 2005 1:17:23 PM
To: Nobody <user@domain.def>
Subject: I'm Worried
I
don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm failing. It seems so inevitable.
I feel trapped. I feel like I let everybody down. I'm wasting
everybody's time and money. I'm a lost cause. As a lost cause, is there
any purpose to my existence? Maybe the answer is prayer. I don't know.
I tried that this summer, but I wasn't serious and couldn't feel it.
Could I ever? Faith can't help me because I
have none. Counseling can't help me. I
need to help myself, but I can't because something is wrong with me.
If nothing is wrong with me, then I simply don't belong here. If I don't
belong at Howard, where do I belong? I don't
have what it takes to survive here or anywhere else. I don't want to
think like this, but it's the truth: The more times I realize this, the
easier it gets to contemplate ending my life.
I am not happy right now.
I just want to give up. I just want to stop hurting. I'm tired. My legs
hurt. I'm sick. I'm allergic. I feel like I'm hurting everyone who
cares about me and
maybe even some who don't. I don't want this. I don't want to explain
to my family why I've failed yet again. I don't want to leave another
class having wasted a seat and learned nothing, as I've done to every
teacher for the past 7 years. I don't want to go home and do nothing,
just like I do every break. I don't want to be unhappy and unpromising
and alone anymore. I don't see myself changing any time soon. Every
semester I've
told myself I could change, but it's not possible.
What am I really
good for? I am a parasite. Why do I deserve to live? I can't be
fixed or cured, so tell me why I
shouldn't be put down?
I wanna hear a new answer. | | |
| 
I woke up, and my throat and right eye and upper lip were swollen like this. Kinda creepy-looking, no? Maybe it's cuz my pillow was doused with Oust a couple days ago… The only reason I'm even awake is because they're shutting off the dorm water for the next 6 hours, so I need to be up out this piece.
Ooooh! Shoutouts to my loyal readership
Erica: You're awesome!
Eddy: I hate your fucking guts. I wish I was a lil' Haitian bastard so I could get the all the girls, but nooo I had to be born a Nigerian bastard!
Dorien: Yeeeaah!
Jilly: You rock!
Julian: Go catch vitiligo twice, you dark pimp motherfucker!
My computer's acting like a beech right now and I need to warsh, so this is the end for now. | | |
| Still kinda sick, but feeling much better. Please leave more comments! Somehow, those fuck-ups over at ISaS disabled
Gmail. I don't think anybody else signed up for Mr. Slowe, but I intend
to go all out anyway. It's about to be a busy fortnight or
I'm predicting a flunk-out. Whatever. Tuesday was definitely a
little rollercoaster-y. All morning I was depressed, then I felt
semi-happy in the afternoon. By evening, I was all shitty again.
Here's Tuesday's simply hilarious blog update:
Update: 25.Jan.2005, 14:35
I'm feeling a little better now, but my stomach still hurts like a
muthafucka. I think I just experienced the high point of my day. See, I
thought some girls were giving me weird stares on the shuttle, so I
went and looked in a mirror just now. I looked good. Maybe even dead
sexy. I still look like a middle schooler and I'm wearing a
homeless-ass coat and hoodie, but I'm lookin' dead sexy nonetheless!
It's amazing what a crooked-ass shape-up can do. Sheesh, I
sound more bipolar every damn day! | | |
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